I don't know who i am... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!?

For so long, I havent been good at anything... for so long so many failiurs..... I don't know how to have a hearty conversation with anyone... I suck at math english science and almost everything else... I suck at life, My comprehension and social abilities are horrible most of the time, people see me as smart and them dum when it should be the other way around, i barely say more then 15 words at school a day, but when i a m at home i am a very talkative, have lots of common sense, can easily have conversations about interesting things with my mother but not with my father, not that i have issues with a my father, I just see him as more intimidating and dont talk to him because i dont want him to see my dum side, I want to be a surgeon... i have the motivation and the heart to do it just not the brains.... I am very kind and gentle towards others and never curse at all unless alone when i am a mad. I love God. Cant talk to girls......... I was put in resource from 3rd grade to 5th grade because i sucked at everything. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? i AM BEING DRIVEN TO INSANITY!!! AM I A GOOD EXAMPLE OF AN AMERICAN STUDENT?!!! AND A GOOD EXAMMPLE OF HOW SH*TTY ARE EDUCATION SYSTEM IS????????!!!????????!!???????!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!